


Something Dangerous. Something Beautiful.

by Basedgarbage



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Drabble, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 04:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8518534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basedgarbage/pseuds/Basedgarbage
Summary: (this is the gif that inspired this fic  HERE )





	

**Author's Note:**

> (this is the gif that inspired this fic [ HERE](https://twitter.com/BasedGarbage/status/796423695942221831) )

I can hear the crowd screaming louder.

I know he can’t.

I know Aoi doesn’t care – not when he’s hyped on the adrenaline and the swigs of the beer he manages to down between songs – not when I’m right there in front of him.

And I don’t remember how we got this close.

I only know that we are, and that I can’t tell where Kai’s drum beat ends and my heart beat begins, and that when he sways to the rhythm his face is so close it’s nearly touching mine and that It makes something inside of me burn – makes me wanna grab-hold- _pull_. Makes me wanna push-run- _pretend-it-didn’t-happen-the-way-I-always-do._

I do neither.

I flinch away.

And I know he notices.

I feel the screams press into my skin.

I feel his leg brush against mine.

I feel myself fight down a shiver.

I chance to look up and he’s smiling. I knew he would be. 

I knew his smirk would be inviting. I knew his body language would be playful. I knew his eyes would be glazed over with something I _refused_ to name (because acknowledgement puts you one step closer to acceptance) and I knew there would be something softer under the surface – something that you would miss if you weren’t paying attention.

I was paying attention and I know he notices.

I pretend, for my sake, that I wasn’t. I refuse to name the softer feeling in his eyes (because acknowledgement puts you one step closer to acceptance) and I look down once more.

I look down and I cringe – because he’s so close. And I don’t want it to be familiar but it is.

I feel my ribs crack under the weight of the rhythm. 

_His smirk was inviting and his touch was warm._

I feel the screams crawl up my spine.

_He was playful – light touches and teasing kisses. Soft sounds. Rolling hips._

I feel myself look up at him one more time and it is against my will. It is out of my control and I know he knows it.

_His eyes were smoldering when they connected with mine and when they crashed closed it was with pleasure and it was –_

– Something I refuse to name.

I smile; we _are_ performers after all. I smile and I turn my head. When I step away from him I tell myself it’s not cold – I tell myself I don’t need his warmth. I tell myself I don’t want it.

I wonder if he’s watching me as I leave, cross the stage and go to my spot as I swallow the lump in my throat.

No, I know he saw it all.

I know he’s seen everything I’ve never wanted him to. I know he sees exactly what he’s doing to me and I know, even if I didn’t look to see it, that he’d smiled back at me (and it was not part of the performance) because he knows exactly how everything is about to play out. 

_’You try to run from me, Uruha, but you can’t escape what you want.’_

I try not to imagine letting satin sheets tear into the skin of my back.

I close my eyes. I breathe in slowly and ground myself. I breathe out evenly and focus on the performance.

I can hear the crowd screaming louder.

I do not go near Aoi again.

I do not think of the look in his eyes.

I do not think of love.

**Author's Note:**

> so, long story short, i have writers block and am trying my best.
> 
> So heres a drabble based on a gif i made
> 
> Do I think it couldve been better? hmmmm, well we'll just give myself credit for trying lol


End file.
